The unexpected things I’ve learnt while staying at home for 2 months

You can put 10 lbs on without eating any junk food.

Did you know that you can get fat eating healthy food? You don’t need burgers, pizza or fries to get chunky. One spoon too many of quinoa or almond butter will do it. And let’s face it, for those of us who have the luxury of working from home or just not having to go out to work, there is nothing else to do but to snack all day every day.

You have the time, but you just don’t want to do it.

Do you remember how we used to say that we don’t have time for something? Like deep-cleaning the cupboard in the corner of the spare room, exercise, reading, learning a new language? Well…we now have time. But frankly, it’s not the time that’s the issue. We just don’t want to do things which are boring, unpleasant or hard. I’d rather just binge YouTube or TikTok, thanks.

Wine with lunch is a thing.

I have no kids. I have a French boyfriend, two cats and a millennial home. If I want to have a glass of wine with lunch, good luck trying to stop me. If I want to have a glass of wine on a call with my team, my work clients or business consultants for my own business, heck, they’ll go and get one for themselves too because WE CAN. No, we’re not going to get litt like it’s a frat party, but we can drink wine like it’s biblical times* and nobody is there to judge because we’re all too busy doing the same thing and trying not to go stir-crazy.

There is always a way to not save money.

Yes, I was so excited to save some money while not going out and not shopping. The opportunity to put some money away is probably the only non-health related positive of the lockdown. Between online sales, realising all the imperfections in my home that need fixing, needing an additional working space, entertainment and a pay cut…tough sh*t, very little saving has been going on. And I don’t even feel bad for it.

The neighbours are annoying.

We barely know most of them but hey, why are they mowing the lawn for the third time this week while somebody here is trying to concentrate on writing a blog post? Why are they in each others’ gardens all the goddamn time? Why do the teenagers downstairs have such a rubbish taste in music? Can people be any more annoying just standing there, breathing??? Let’s face it, I’m probably the dodgy one going out to exercise every day and having randoms from FB marketplace show up for contactless collection of junk from around my house. But even though I know as well as you do that we’re not perfect, the gloves are off anyway because there just isn’t anywhere else to go.

I hope you found some humour in this article. Has there been anything that surprised you during the coronavirus confinement?

*Please drink responsibly. Visit drinkaware.co.uk if you are worried about your alcohol consumption level.

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